Starting out
When I was first trained as a counsellor, I received my first clients with fear and trepidation. Real, live people were going to tell me their troubles! I focused hard, remembered what my tutors told me and listened like mad. I said as little as possible, in case I said something which wouldn’t help, and I shared my clients’ challenges and pain. As they grew through their difficulties and recovered their personal power and well-being, I learned to trust the process of counselling.
The Relationship Heals
Currently, in the worlds of the NHS and employer-supported counselling, CBT is the flavour of the month. Counselling is being offered to more and more people for less and less time – some of my referral agencies send client for only three sessions, rather than the 5 or 6 which I find most helpful. I always work integratively, which means that I use different counselling techniques to best match the needs of my clients. Research suggests that the methods used by different therapists are nearly all helpful as long as they are selected carefully and used in a context of a good supportive alliance between counsellor and client. My belief in the courage, dignity and determination of my clients was and is an important component of that relationship for me.
Counselling to coaching
As my experience grew I found that my clients wanted to go beyond feeling better; they wanted to move out of difficult situations and create better lives. Many agencies were suggesting a solution-focused approach, and I was using this with some success. I came to recognise this as coaching, which is a way of helping someone to move from where they are to where they want to be. My belief in the ability of people to achieve this and of my own ability to help is the cornerstone of my work. Time and again I have seen people who are stuck in what seems like a dead-end situation make real changes in their lives. Many people have limiting beliefs, like “I can’t change this”, or “that’s just what you have to put up with in life”. The key issue is to replace these with empowering beliefs, like “I can change what I don’t want”, and “I can plan how my life will be”. Once a person has gained these skills they have them for ever. Let me know if I can help.
Currently, in the worlds of the NHS and employer-supported counselling, CBT is the flavour of the month. Counselling is being offered to more and more people for less and less time – some of my referral agencies send client for only three sessions, rather than the 5 or 6 which I find most helpful. I always work integratively, which means that I use different counselling techniques to best match the needs of my clients. Research suggests that the methods used by different therapists are nearly all helpful as long as they are selected carefully and used in a context of a good supportive alliance between counsellor and client. My belief in the courage, dignity and determination of my clients was and is an important component of that relationship for me. 
As my experience grew I found that my clients wanted to go beyond feeling better; they wanted to move out of difficult situations and create better lives. Many agencies were suggesting a solution-focused approach, and I was using this with some success. I came to recognise this as coaching, which is a way of helping someone to move from where they are to where they want to be. My belief in the ability of people to achieve this and of my own ability to help is the cornerstone of my work. Time and again I have seen people who are stuck in what seems like a dead-end situation make real changes in their lives. Many people have limiting beliefs, like “I can’t change this”, or “that’s just what you have to put up with in life”. The key issue is to replace these with empowering beliefs, like “I can change what I don’t want”, and “I can plan how my life will be”. Once a person has gained these skills they have them for ever. Let me know if I can help.
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